How to tell you're back in the US

Gluten-free beer.

Butterflies in my stomach

One of my Chinese friends asked me if I had everything ready to leave for New Zealand. I told her I'd been waking up every morning this week with butterflies in my stomach. With a concerned look on her face, she asked if I felt sick.

Modern Vending Machines

I'm in the US this month for a visit. Last week I was in Tennessee celebrating my dad's 70th birthday, & this week I'm in Phoenix celebrating my 40th. On my way to Phoenix, I passed through Dallas again.

I have heard of vending machines in Japan selling everything from live crabs to new cars to old underwear. Apparently the idea is starting to catch on in the US as well. In the Dallas airport, I saw a vending machine selling electronics. It offered basic accessories like earphones or cellphone cases, as well as relatively expensive items like cameras and MP3 players. You don't even have to worry if this machine will take your crumpled up dollars - just swipe your credit card & you've got what you need.

I think it will be a while before machines like this start popping up in China. Vending machines are not that common there, even for small things like snacks & beverages. Plus, the economy is still largely based on cash, so a $300 camera probably wouldn't be a very popular item. But in the US, where everyone uses credit & debit cards instead of cash, it might not be long before we're buying ties & flowers & everything else from vending machines just like they do in Japan.

Hypochondriac

I'm sure it was like this before I left the US for Asia, but since I've been back visiting, I've noticed that there is an amazing number of comercials on American TV for all sorts of pharmaceutical drugs. Many of the ads list frightening side effects like heart failure & suicidal tendancies. Sounds like the drugs could be more dangerous than whatever disease people think they have.

Thanks for Serving

On my way to Chattanooga to see my parents, I had a connecting flight in Dallas. There were several soldiers in the airport, walking to & from their gates. I overheard some people asking this one or that one if they were coming in or going out, a little chit chat about the weather here versus the weather there. Almost everyone thanked the soldier for serving before they parted ways.

Dallas might be a hub for traveling soldiers, so I could have seen more of them there than I would have at a different airport. Even so, I feel that this part of US life just isn't a part of my life in China. In Shanghai, I follow the news from home, but what I read seems like news from a far-off land, like reading about an earthquake in Indonesia - tragic but somehow not altogether real.

I wonder if that's because I live far from home - because the US is a far-off land to me. Or do people living in the US also feel this way?

The Price of Gas

Wow. Gas is $4 a gallon, huh? I haven't thought about the price of gas in forever. I haven't driven a car in a year & a half. I think the last time I filled a gas tank, I paid about $2 a gallon & shook my head incredulous at that. I have no idea what gas costs in Shanghai - not even a clue.

It's interesting how something that used to be such a big part of my life - driving - has become little more than a passing thought. I definitely miss driving, & dream of road trips often, but on a day-to-day basis, driving is something other people do.

I wonder if you can become a bad driver for lack of practice. I think I drove almost every day of my adult life up until I left the US for Vietnam. But since then, I haven't driven a car even once. I did try my hand at a scooter once in Vietnam, but that wasn't one of my best moments.

I'm not sure if I'll get the chance to drive while I'm in the US this time around. Since I'm visiting three different cities, I thought about renting a car & really getting some drive time in. But the car rental would have been $1200 plus $4 a gallon in gas, whereas the flight from LA to Chattanooga to Phoenix & back to LA was under $500. No contest.

Maybe by the next time I come back for a visit, they'll have the whole oil versus alternative fuel thing figured out. Maybe instead of driving gas powered vehicles, everyone will have electric cars & the price of gas won't matter. Maybe.

Fritos in Shanghai!

I found Fritos in Shanghai! Now, this might not seem like such a big deal to you, but to me this is a momentus occasion.

Fritos are one of my comfort foods - they have lots of good memories attached. Fritos are road trip food. They go crunch as I ride down the highway singing Randy Travis at the top of my lungs. I wipe the Frito dust from my fingers as I sit around a campfire telling jokes under a starry night. Fritos are part of my happy place.

As soon as I left the US for the Great Beyond & discovered there were no Fritos there, I quickly added them to the top of my care package wish list. Concerned friends & family members started sending me bags of the crunchy goodness along with heart-felt notes expressing empathy for my Frito-less-ness. My parents even cleared a spot in their luggage for a big tub of Fritos when they came to visit last September.

But now I am saved! Fritos do exist on the other side of the globe after all! What a wonderful world it is!

Old vs. New

When you stand on the river walk on the bank of the Huang Pu River in Shanghai, you have a great view of both sides of the waterway. On the west side, you see an impressive row of European style architecture built in the early 1900s. On the east side of the river, you see a crowd of stunning skyscrapers, which have all been built within the last 20 years. The contrast is stark - a visual representation of Shanghai's past & future.

Puxi - West Bank

Pudong - East Bank

When my parents were here in September, our tour guide Lynn took us to the river side to take photos & gawk at the other tourists. While we were there, Lynn commented that when she takes foreigners to see the river, they almost always turn to look at the old buildings & marvel at the intricate art deco designs. When she takes Chinese tourists to see the same river, they invariably look towards the modern high rises, impressed by how they gleam.

Indeed, Lynn's observation could be broadened to apply to cultural attitudes in general. In the West, everyone loves old things. People are always buying antiques, restoring old buildings, & getting in touch with their roots.

Whereas in the East, the past couldn't be sloughed off quick enough. If it's more than 20 years old, no one wants it. Countless old buildings are demolished every day in favor of 20-storey apartment buildings. Traditional music & clothing is scoffed at as out-dated & useless. The old ways are being replaced by the latest in design, technology & comfort, & no one is looking back - China has torn off its rearview mirror & tossed it out the window.

Some might say it's unfortunate that Ming Dynasty pagodas are being replaced with McDonalds & Starbucks on every corner. However, those that would lament have the luxury to do so. The West has already developed industry & commerce to such an extent that people can comfortably sit back, take a deep breath & sigh about days gone by.

China, on the other hand, is on the verge of something huge - they're charging into the future at a break-neck pace, & they don't have time for the extravegance of looking to the past. Right now, the past is just in the way of progress.

10 Things Chinese Students Think About Life in the US

1. The cost of living is low.
2. Salaries are high.
3. Taxes are high.
4. Crime rates are high.
5. There's a good welfare system.
6. You can live in a house with a yard & a swimming pool.
7. You don't need to do homework.
8. You can feel free to do what you want.
9. There are lots of stars in Hollywood.
10.There are many different cultures in the US, so it's easy for people to accept each other.

Face

We’ve all heard of the concept of “face”, that all-important facet of Asian society, which must be protected at all costs. When we hear about this “face”, we often think of it as something unique to Asian culture, which we have to make a special effort to respect if we ever visit an Asian country. Even the Vietnamese & Chinese people that I have met seem to think that “face” is an idea that is exclusive to the East.

But really, there is nothing distinctly Asian about “face”. We all want to protect the image that we show to the public, no matter what country we’re from. No one likes to look stupid or feel embarrassed in front of others – that’s a universal sentiment. We all want people to think we’re nice or generous or badass, & none of us wants that public image to be tarnished.

Everyone has a persona that we show to others, our various masks – or faces – that we put on & take off depending on who we’re with. At work I put on my “teacher” face – I’m responsible, organized, & knowledgeable. When I’m out with friends, I put on my “friend” face – I tell jokes & laugh easily, & I try to be accommodating. When I’m with strangers, I even have a “stranger” face – I’m kind & considerate without being invasive. These are the “faces” that everyone has & that everyone tries to protect.

If you trip & fall in public, how do you feel? That’s the feeling of losing face. If you make a big mistake at work & get fired, you feel embarrassed, ashamed, & rejected. That’s what it feels like to lose a lot of face. It’s the same the world over. In Asia they call it “losing face”, in the West, we call it “feeling stupid”.

Just like in the West, losing face – or looking stupid – in Asia is not such a big deal. You might make mistakes, as everyone does, but you & everybody else soon get over it & move on with your lives.

So why do we use this word "face" when we talk about being embarrassed in Asia? Probably because there's no one word in English that describes it as concisely - the English language is known for borrowing words when it doesn't have its own that are suitable. But no matter what you call it, we all have it & we can all lose it occasionally.

The Wizard of What?

I'm often surprised by which elements of Western pop culture are recognized - or not recognized - by people here in Shanghai.

Since the late 1980's, China has had an open door policy, inviting foreign investors to help develop its market economy, & along with the investors came pop culture. People here eat at KFC, wear (fake) Gucci, & love Lady Gaga. They even watch reruns of Friends, for gosh sakes.

So I was surprised to hear that most of my students have never heard of The Wizard of Oz. Amazing! I've seen that movie, like, a hundred times. It's an integral part of American culture, like Mom & apple pie, yet no one here has heard of it.

They have, however, heard the song Over the Rainbow, but not Judy Garland's version. They know the version sung by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole because it's used in so many TV commercials these days.

Chinatown

I've been hearing about this burlesque show called Chinatown ever since I got here, & I finally got the chance to see it last Saturday night with some other teachers.

I found the unassuming facade nestled in the alleyway of a very "Chinese" street, with knock-off clothing stores, steamed dumplings on bicycle carts, and toddlers peeing in the streets. But when I went inside, the scene was altogether different. There I found a 1930's style theater with velvet curtains, carved wood banisters and scantily clad women in sparkly costumes.

The show included an amazing rendition of Etta James's At Last sung by the same woman who belly danced around the room in the next vignette. Later in the show a Bruce Willis look alike belted out Frank Sinatra favorites as he strutted around the stage in a tuxedo.

Of course, there wasn't anything Chinese about this Chinatown. The audience was almost entirely made up of foreigners. Even the announcer spoke in English. But it was a fun night out anyway, & it wasn't that expensive, like so many of the foreigner places are.

Pop Music

The most popular English-language star in Shanghai.

In the Out Group

I'm sitting alone at a restaurant in the backpacker district of Ho Chi Minh City. An English pub across the alley way is filled with loud, boisterous Americans. I'm not one of them. Three young women ride up on motorbike taxis. A crippled beggar approaches them, his hand extended. They cringe & back away, then laugh amongst themselves as they join their friends inside. The cripple moves on. Later, the Americans in the English pub break out in a drunken rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. Tears sting my eyes. I am surprised. I miss my home, my friends, my family. But I am not a part of this celebration of Manifest Destiny. I don't want to be.

10 Things Every Vietnamese Knows How to Say in English

1. Hello
2. Bye-bye
3. Ghost
4. Same-same
5. What's your name?
6. Where are you from?
7. How old are you?
8. Are you married?
9. H1N1
10.Tom & Jerry

On Being a Tourist

Katie & I went to Saigon on Sunday & Monday. We stayed the night in a backpacker hotel in the heart of tourist central for $15. We were surrounded by foreigners & tourist shops galore. There were restaurants of many different cuisines: Korean, Indian, Italian, American - even an English pub. We spent the day time shopping & the night time socializing at one of the bars there.

Sometimes it's nice to be a tourist for a few days. It was nice to be able to speak English with people that I don't know, & it was nice to be able to be out past 10:00pm. I wouldn't want to do it all the time, but it was a nice change from the small but industrial town where I live now. I'm glad we went.

Engrish at the Clothing Store

Shopping for clothes in Bien Hoa is always entertaining.

Today I found some especially good Tshirts.

Profound.

Indeed.

Your guess is as good as mine.

Western Luxury: Perspective

After living in Vietnam for two & a half months, I find that I feel uncomfortable in Western-style restaurants, hotels, & shops. When the average restaurant here looks like the one above, the Western-style establishments seem way too luxurious. I look at the menu & gape in shock at a dish for 100,000 Dong (=$5.50). A $25 dress seems like a bargain, but at 450,000 Dong, it's out of my league. I feel like an impostor if I go into these places because the Vietnamese employees there might think I'm a rich tourist with lots of dough to spend, so I tend to avoid them. Even on the train, I prefer the hard seat.

Naming Yourself

Since the Vietnamese language is so difficult for Westerners to pronounce, students sometimes take on Western names to make it easier for their teachers to address them. Many of them directly translate their Vietnamese names into English, so I have students named Trust, River, Six, & Glory. Other students name themselves after famous people, giving us lots of Harrys (as in Potter), & a few Hannahs (as in Montana). But some of the names are just wacky. One guy named himself Superman, there's a girl named Cinderella, & one girl insists on calling herself Benjamin. Those Vietnamese sure are funny.

Shopping at the Bookstore

I went to the bookstore today just to look around. Among all of the books in Vietnamese, I found the ubiquitous Harry Potter...

... & of course the Twighlight series translated into Vietnamese.

They seem to like American politics too.

Even though this is a communist country, they're surprisingly business savvy.

You got that right, bub! (85,000 Dong = US $4.72)